Move on...

Move on...

Stop worrying where you're going-
Move on
If you can know where you're going
You've gone
Just keep moving on

I chose, and my world was shaken-
So what?
The choice may have been mistaken,
The choosing was not
You have to move on

Look at what you want,
Not at where you are,
Not at what you'll be-

From "SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE"

Epiphany from Gift of the Magi

Ok, so Gift of the Magi tells the story of these two who live in this drab, gray poor outer world that is based on misery, work and money, but the true richness that they create together in is the inner love and affection that they have for each other. And they sacrifice a part of them to give them each other the best gift of all a "selfless" love token from these useless gifts. As long as they have these gifts, they will remember it. That is a kind of thing that can't be bought and it makes the gift even more special and personal than what they replaced.
When I realized that which I stated above is when the epiphany happened for me. My outer world although is not drab or gray it is not all that I need to be satisfied. I had to ask myself- What does it mean to be truly rich? My inner richness is allowed to be shared in a creative and intimate way and it is something that I value and share. That I have bonded with others to make friendships that live parallel with our real lives. And because the roots of my relationships keep me grounded and not wandering I am able to stay planted happily where I am and grow into the person that is happier than before.
What a wise story that is the Gift of the Magi for it makes me feel wiser and more complete than before.
I hope that all makes sense. I know it is my own thoughts, but it helps me to write it.

Missing Ursa Major

You are nine hours ahead
And you left me morning messages
That I would read as I walked in the morning light
They were always very sweet and endearing
I loved reading your thoughts
You are a man full of such intense passion
No mortal woman could handle the fire in your desire
You made things so incredibly hot all the time
Now that you are gone from my life
I feel the absence of your presence
And yet I never physically touched you
You were images on a screen, a voice on my phone,
mere words that we shared
And yet I felt like you were really near me
touching me, feeling your warmth around me
Taking my body to new heights of pleasure
There was a overwhelming sexual hunger
undeniable chemistry where our hearts threatened
to breakthrough drumming madly
whenever we had an encounter
I could hear your deeply accented voice in my head
so sexy, so rich that it resonated through me and thrilled me
And now all I am left with is your emails,
your voice messages, and images of you
I will look at them over and over
remembering my fiery passionate lover
who had a primal need stronger than his wits
and it lead him to be careless and neglectful
to the point that his spouse took notice
and confronted him with the truth of his affair
troubled, confused and filled with guilt
he told all and everything came falling down
the door closed and will never be opened again
I miss you, my friend, my love and will always think of you
when I look up into the stars and see the big dipper
Ursa Major will be my reminder
Forever of our short adventure
In this secret space

A new year! A new start at something a little bit different. I have a few other blogs around here, but those all have my name all attached to them and they attempted to explain my real life. One word to describe that- BUSY!
So this blog will have a little different slant. It will explain what is really going on in my head and tell the stories that have taught me some interesting lessons. The things that no one else gets to hear, but me. That inner voice that is not politically correct, a bit crazy, that speaks in metaphors at times, and just completely and totally random!